Upstanders, not bystanders
Stand up to, not by, violence against women and girls.
Barry Scott is a White Ribbon Ambassador at Greater Manchester Fire and Rescue Service. As White Ribbon Day, 25 November, approaches, he has a message to men: Individually, we can make a difference, but together, we can change the narrative.
By Barry Scott
My family, a warm and loving unit of six, was shaken by domestic abuse. As the middle child among three female siblings, I was too young to fully comprehend it yet deeply affected by this.
I won't shy away from admitting that I was a terrified little boy then. The day finally came when my mother broke free and began to rebuild our lives.
At around 30 years of age, with four young children to raise, she worked multiple jobs while simultaneously pursuing a degree. I have vivid memories of her working late into the night, juggling a second job ironing clothes, looking after us and writing her dissertation. The strength she displayed was nothing short of heroic.
Years later when I applied to the fire service, I was asked to write an essay about someone I admired. Without a second thought, I wrote about my mum. Her courage, resilience, and unwavering love for us, despite the hardships she faced, made her my hero. I share this story with her consent and the hope that it might inspire others.
Becoming a White Ribbon Ambassador was a step I took to make a difference in the lives of women and girls. By sharing my life experiences and showing my vulnerability, I believe I can contribute positively to this cause. Now a father of two, I strive to use my influence to encourage other men to be upstanders, not bystanders, in the fight against violence towards women and girls.
Individually, we can make a difference, but together, we can change the narrative. We need to do it for our mothers, sisters, and daughters. We need to do it for a future where no child has to hide upstairs, scared, while their world falls apart downstairs.
My journey as a White Ribbon Ambassador is not just about my story but about the countless stories that remain untold, hidden behind closed doors. Together, we can #ChangeTheStory.
Barry Scott
Barry Scott is the Programme and Project Support Officer and Station Manager at Greater Manchester Fire & Rescue Service.