#WhyIfundraise: Seán Utley
“I’m 100kg, I’ve got a beard and I want to be seen as a safe space for women,” says Seán Utley, who raised £665 for White Ribbon UK in his latest fitness challenge – a double ERG marathon.
An engineer with a passion for high-intensity sports, Seán is no stranger to the negative masculine traits that can flourish in male-dominated spaces. “In sport and in my workplace, both of which are more masculine spaces, you tend to normalise things that aren’t healthy. You don’t intend to but every day it starts to change your moral compass.”
Since setting up his fundraiser for White Ribbon UK, Seán has doubled down in his efforts to challenge the stereotype of the ‘Alpha’ male that can influence and negatively impact young men. His advice to these young men and boys? “We normalise a lot but take a step back and let yourself be vulnerable.”
Read on to learn more about how Seán’s fundraising journey for White Ribbon UK.
Can you introduce yourself?
I’m Seán and I’m 34 years old. As you get older, you tend to reflect on your own behaviours, your thoughts and the way you feel about things in your life. It's been a nice time to learn more about myself and develop myself -- every day is a learning day!
When I was introduced to White Ribbon UK, it was, admittedly, the right time of my life. I'm an engineering manager and throughout the last decade in my field, supporting women in engineering became a really big thing. It's been great to be around for that.
Ending violence against women and girls is something I’m already quite passionate about. I really wanted to support White Ribbon UK’s mission to prevent men’s violence against women and girls, and I’m so glad I was able to do something arguably stupid — 2 marathons! — to garner a little bit of attention for your incredible organisation.
How did you first hear about White Ribbon UK?
I first heard about White Ribbon UK through my friend Kerry. We do CrossFit together and her company has held a few fundraising events in the past for White Ribbon UK.
The events of the last few months in the UK really did affect me and prompted me to seek out organisations who were having a real impact in challenging the harmful attitudes and behaviours that lead to violence in our society. Looking at the news, I remember thinking that people weren’t mentioning the victims enough. Then there were the Euros, and you hear about rates of domestic abuse increasing all because of a football team losing. I felt ashamed. I wanted to offer a voice that would provide hope and even reprieve.
I put out feelers amongst the different CrossFit groups and ice hockey groups in my area to see if there was anything in the UK working on ending gender-based violence.
I wanted to do something more impactful to support those addressing the real errors in our society that need to be called out and corrected.
I’d like to be a bit of a guiding light in this context, to be able to call out bad behaviour, to be able to learn myself, because there is a lot to learn regarding the more subtle, nuanced, ‘low-level’ acts of violence. I’ve got a sister, a fiancé, my mum and nan. I’ve been raised well enough, but I have gotten caught up in the bad behaviours that aren’t always called out. In sport and in my workplace, both of which are more masculine spaces, there is the tendency to normalise things that aren’t healthy. You don’t intend to but every day it starts to change your moral compass and your focus on what really matters.
This has been a huge learning curve for me over the past few years and I’m glad I’ve got a fiancé who is strong, confident and vocal about gender-based violence and related issues. She’s been an incredible influence.
Why do you fundraise for White Ribbon UK?
I fundraise for White Ribbon UK because I’m inspired by your approach to ending gender-based violence. It’s an issue I find abhorrent, and I don’t think, amongst men, there’s enough of a discussion about what we can do. I don’t think nearly enough bad behaviour from men is called out. I don’t think we as men have chats enough. Your organisation is doing an incredible job of leading the way for more men to get involved and it's amazing.
What’s the most important message you want to get across to people?
Reflect on your own behaviours and educate yourself. It’s easy to normalise a lot of behaviours and attitudes but take a step back from your usual groups and talk to people about this with whom you might not normally interact. Let yourself be vulnerable and allow yourself to be positively changed by the information you come into throughout this journey. Try to be better each day with whatever resources you’ve got and are given.
If you’d like to start your fundraising journey today, find out more here.