Why Hearing ‘Her’ Voice in Football Should Be Enough
We are really excited that HerGameToo is supporting #TheGoal for White Ribbon Day.
HerGameToo is a voluntary organisation ran by female football fans who are committed to fostering an ethos in football in which women are welcomed and respected equally.
HerGameToo co-founder, Emily Drakeley, has shared her experience with us. Men can be great allies by listening to women and girls - without needing another man to step in and convince them.
By Emily Drakeley
I think it’s hard enough finding your place in this world, especially as a young girl. We’re always told how to look and how to behave, how a girl should act, what a girl should like etc.
I always thought I was a bit of an anomaly at school. I was really interested in learning and never got a detention! I was really girly, and when I turned 13, I found a passion in football; it was almost overnight.
Coming from the Cotswolds, at the time, there weren’t many local teams in the ‘bigger; leagues, so learning about football and how the structure worked took time. There were very few girls to talk to or learn with, and, what felt like everyone at my school supported a Premier League team, so that’s all I was exposed to and knew.
My dad supports Bristol City, but very rarely took me for a myriad of reasons. One that I remember sticking out clearly is that sometimes it’s not safe, and he was worried I’d get hurt. I thought nothing of it; I’d never experienced it so was in a phase of ignorant bliss.
I studied Football Business and Media at university which I thoroughly loved, but the lack of women in sport was apparent when you could count the number of girls in my class on one hand. We were very much the minority, but luckily, we found a great bunch of mates who didn’t make us feel that way, who I am best friends with still to this day. The power of supportive men within the sporting world cannot be ignored.
I met my partner who took me to a Birmingham City game against Derby at home, and I remember sitting at the back of the Kop thinking ‘wow!’. It’s a feeling very hard to describe - but I felt like I’d found a home. And that was it - season tickets and home and away every season since.
I’ve been very lucky that I’ve not received as much online abuse in terms of football as some, however, school was where I faced the most challenges.
There was a trip to play football and train at Valencia CF - which myself and my friend Jade signed up for. We received a flat no - we couldn’t go because we were girls, and they couldn’t facilitate us. My dad wrote a strongly worded letter that stated even if we can’t field a team, we shouldn’t be restricted from having the other experiences. We ended up going.
I don’t think it was purposeful now I’m older, but that sting of rejection and anger I felt really hurt. I felt like they had turned me down because I was a girl and didn’t understand about the logistics behind it - it really hurt. My dad had our backs and I’m so glad he did because that is an experience that I will never forget.
We trained at Valencia, toured, and watched at match at the Mestalla, and got to watch the boys play rather than be involved in matches. I was just so grateful to be there. Jade and I still talk about it and how amazing it was. Jade has a daughter now, and I hope she has the same opportunities if she decides that is what she wants to do.
I think what I’m trying to say is throughout my life when I’ve been told no because I’m a girl, I’ve had a man to back me up and help change minds. Whilst I’m so grateful, it shouldn’t be that way.
Being a girl shouldn’t be a sticking point and there should now be facilities in place to resolve any of these issues - opportunities should be available for everyone, regardless of their gender, and that’s what we at Her Game Too are trying to achieve. But equally, we shouldn’t need men to speak up for us - we should be heard just for who we are. We now have a voice - let’s use it to make things better for everyone. It’s Her Game, too.